Days Go By

It's me again still up in the wee hours

For the past 3 months, my sleep time seem to get later and later into the night or rather into the early hours of the morning. I know I have had sleeping problems for a long time already but this time, it's getting worse....I do not think going to the doctors will help as the very few occasions I went to seek medical advice, they all say the same damn thing...."Maybe you are overworked or too stressed out". So yeah I do not utterly believe that the Docs can actually help.

After much thinking, I think I have come to a conclusion that whenever I am sad or disappointed, I don't get to sleep. Why? I believe I am being punished. I really don't have the answers to this problem of mine. I guess what I can only do is to live with it. The only hope I have to improve this...hmmm...cannot sleep shit.... is for me to be happy...but right now I am not happy. I try to keep myself occupied so that I do not think of a lot of nonsense. Still it haunts me. Maybe I just freaking deserve this.

On lighter note, its 21 more days to my well deserved holiday with a bunch of people who are closest to me. I am so looking forward to this trip. Who knows after this trip, I will be refreshed and then things will start to get better. I really hope so...I am wishing that it will. The Perhentian Island is our paradise destination for 4 days. My ideal holiday, sitting by the beach, a nice cold beer in my hand, the smell of the ocean or sea, the hot sunny day and the breeze blowing into your face and watch the world go by.....Thinking of it sometimes makes me happy for just a little while.

Right after the trip, I am gonna be starting my new job with a new company. I am excited but yet a little worried. Excited because I am getting a much better offer. Worried that my current bosses will not let me go. I don't want to stay any longer. I don't want my reputation in the industry to be destroyed because of the mentality you all possess. I wanna produce and deliver good works for the industry, I want to be respected and I want to prove to that somebody that the idea in that person's head about my career is wrong.

Itis time for me to sign off now. I am gonna watch a certain English Football team loose in a European Competition...Kepping my fingers cross..

Ding Dong of the East Keding Donged at 4:42 AM |